A quote and a story with a moral about morals or (at least) consciences.

My employer, Catholic Community Services-St. Mary's for Men, was asking its employees for quotes so that they can put them up on the wall of our building. So I decided to create my own and it says: "True happiness isn't obtained or purchased. True happiness comes from within and everyone is entitled to it because what's within all of us is God." --Tamara Nicholas, October 1, 2009

I thought it was befitting for a Catholic facility. Apparently the gal accepting the quotes didn't agree with me because she didn't use it. Does it suck that bad?

On the subject of this gal (who will remain nameless) at work who was accepting the quotes... Three or four weeks ago the RCA (that's what I am) who works weekdays, day shift went to the hospital ER with chest pain. It turned out he had a torn aorta and needed emergency open heart surgery. Well, he was in ICU several days then transferred to telemetry for about a week then discharged. As you can imagine his medical bills were expected to be more than he could handle since the position of RCA only pays between $9.00 and $10.00 an hour. Our insurance benefits (which our employer pays 100% of the premium on the employee only) doesn't cover jack shit.

So, this "gal" at work who does the payroll sent out a company-wide email stating that all employees who wish to contribute to a fund for the employee who was in the hospital could do so via their payroll check. It was to be an after tax deduction of whatever amount we wished to contribute. I thought it was very nice for them to do this for my co-worker. I, myself, have been going through many health issues and have had several ER visits, blood work, radiology tests, and doctor visits (even a colonoscopy and endoscopy which total over $1800.00 for the two scopes alone). I was forced to file a chapter 13 after being out of work for over two years and having several huge kidney stones which took six months and many ER visits, blood work, radiology tests, and doctor visits for the "professionals" to find the stones. After they found them I had lithotripsy done to break them up so I could pass them which (after the COBRA insurance paid their portion I was left owing $700 for that procedure alone - not to mention that the premiums for the COBRA were over $300/month) back in 2008.

Anyway, medical bills exceeding $5000 on top of my insurance premiums and having to use credit cards in order to eat and buy gas to transport me to job interviews and my husband to work (not to mention I lost my business due to this prolonged illness that could have been diagnosed immediately if any of the "professionals" knew what they were doing) forced us into bankruptcy court. I know this is a long story but the point I'm trying to set up here is that I have been accruing tons and tons of medical bills after filing for chapter 13 so I can not add these newer medical expenses to the bankruptcy. I have to pay everything I owe (which is over $5,000 at this point due to the crappy coverage and pre-existing clause) or they will send me to collections who will then garnish 25% of my pay - one creditor at a time which could go on for quite a while.

My point? Well, even though I am financially ruined (myself) I knew that my friend at work would need help because his bills would be so high. Even though I struggle to meet my basic needs with the menial income I have and the overwhelming amount of debt I owe I still sent an email reply to this "gal" in payroll telling her to take $20 out of my check to donate to the friend in need. I am not expecting koodos because that's not what motivated me to help. What the final moral to this story is goes like this. When my friend's daughter came in to pick up his first check after going into the hospital the woman from "upstairs" came to give her the check and told her, "there's an extra $20 as well." I about lost it inside my head. I couldn't believe that no one else contributed to help this guy out. Many, many more "higher-ups" who have much higher salaries than me or the guy in the hospital couldn't find an extra $5.00 or even $1.00 to contribute. Not one other person, not even the "gal" who drafted and sent the email asking for donations. How jacked up and greedy has our society become for this to be true?

I was appauled when I heard my former boss who took a promotion out of that position tell his daughter, "there's an extra $20" like that was something fucking spectacular. It was a disgrace. That money (by itself, ie, only $20) would have been better served if I'd kept it and applied it to my own heavy medical expenses. Twenty dollars, alone, will not do a thing for this man and all the bills he'll be stuck paying. If that doesn't make anyone else say, "what the fuck?" Then, apparently, I'm the only one in the world who has retained their intelligence and/or sanity.

People make me so fucking sick sometimes (most of the time). I really wish there were more good-hearted and generous people in the world because the world wouldn't be such a shit-hole if that were the case. Unfortunately (for all of us who still have a conscience left within ourselves) the world is a shit-hole ran by ass-bags who aren't worthy to breathe our air. They are sucking the oxygen that we need while they get rich doing it, screwing us both physically and financially all the way to the bank. But hey, they can afford to get sick. They are the ones who get to live and live well. Shouldn't we be happy sacraficing our own health and quality of life to assist such cold-hearted, conscience lacking individuals to further evolve and spread their sickness of greed and selfishness? I think not. I say that they start selling hunting licenses to all the decent people in the world allowing for open season on ass-bags.

That's all. But who really gives a shit anyway?

Tamara Nicholas